Hey all...

went downtown east today...for this chalet...hid my friend's baby pillow in the fridge...i realise i like to play drums in the arcade..

but enought about that...im feeling really...guilty!!! its killing me...

i could have gone for mass today...i was planning to but...i didn't...then my friends said...u prefer us to ur church friends right...i was like...yar lar yar lah (eh...it doesn't mean that its the truth..) i love u guys equally for different reasons...

but thats not the point...only just now after reading jes's post on the log blog that i realised...the main reason i go to church is not the friends..its because i feel so much closer to God there...and so...it also means...that i said...i prefer my friends to God!! omg!! i was like noooooooooo im so stupid!! i felt so guilty...

like Jes said...I rejected God's invitation...

summore...lent is tml!!! and this is what i do!! skip mass!! and today was actually really important for me...i realised i really needed to go the ado to talk to him...(not that i cant...but i feel closer to him there) to prepare me for this season of lent! to help guide me with Sunday's session for lent! I needed to him to cleanse my spirit....i needed to repent...ask him for strength...I need to be really prepared for lent...if im not...how can i portray what ever needs to be conveyed by him during session!!! arrrghh im so stupid...i feel like i subconsciously have to have some fun just before lent comes...it sounds like im dreading it...but no..i hope not...

i havent been going ado...not on sunday not on monday not today and i cant tml...and thurs and fri i cant go church!!! why is it so hard!!!!!!! i really need to go ado...

i feel im neglecting him alot...i hope i did not make him sad...like how i brushed my mom away...i wanna say sorry...but shes sleeping now...haha..maybe tml..

what am i to do!! i need to meet up with kris to plan session...i cant...and thurs and fri im going to celebrate my birthday! but i really feel i shouldn't..its lent... all the food...omg 2 buffets on both days...talk about fasting!! shit...how am i going to get through this week...

i feel like writing God a letter...then buring it in the altar flames...but then shit id be holding a buring piece of paper in my hands....then what!! throw it on the floor and leave a black mark there...i dont think so...

I think i'll try to come for mass on thurs and fri...i hope i can...its not really up to me...is it? but how to without disappointing everyone....


but then i'd be disappointing my God...



sorry...





shall change log blog song to suit lent...

ok i guess not....


but i really dread hearing the song...i dont hate it...its beautiful...but thats why......not that i hate beauty....but beauty does not always portray niceness...probably even sadness....ahhhh denise stop rambling!

Hur Hur.
10:05 PM

haha this is funny...guess what my statcounter told me...someone typed "what website should i go to to see pictures of girls showing their butts" into ask.com...and somehow they gave him a link to my blog haha...yeah my blog has so many butts around....hahaha

ok now something thats totally unrelated to butts...

LENT! its coming!! and i have to plan session with kris! haha...i like planning...gives me a sense of pressure...i like! ahha after so much slacking..i really missed the pressure haha..and also planning helps me grow closer to God...i really need it...especially now...so hurray! by the way...i totally forgot what is lent...so hurray again! the planning can help me!

some random facts...

1. The 'You raise me up" song by josh groban on sunday...i wasn't really glad it was played for session...especially when we reflected on it...

2. why? Last year...i think...the most freircesome teacher in my school...but highly respected as well...pass away...and that song was played for his funeral...

3. And so i became sad....because i totally forgot about it...and then...shit i suddenly remembered it again....

4. and so...sorry anne...i wasn't at all listening to what you said in session...

5. cos i kept thinking of how we all kept getting punished by him and in sec 1 avoiding him at all costs and fearing him like hell and in sec 4 how we found out he was a real good man after all....respectable...

6. and of how we all prayed as a school that he'd recover from his illness...

7. How people cried when the news was out...

8. And how I heard he had converted to a catholic just before he passed away...

9. er...i knew Simeon when he was 3! and his sis and I were 4! Ooohh sho cute!

10. and I have nothing to fill this space with..because 10 is a prettier number than 8.

Hur Hur.
9:55 PM

ahhh u know that tooth of mine that refuses to strand in a straight line with the other teeth...welll its damn stubborn!! suddenly my bracket on that tooth came off even though it was stuck on with glue!!! ahhh stupid tooth... have to glue it back again and wear that aligner even loger...stupid...

hey the navy wants to recruit me!!! haha so funnily weird...

im getting real bored these days...computer is no fun...

but SIMS2 is!!! i want the new expansion pack..the business one...u have to employ workers then train them or fire or promote them and all its damn fun...make ur goods to sell ..set the prices..pursuade pple to buy and upgrade ur business!!! hahaa fun fun...


still havent touched my sims2 since i the minister of sims2 said 8 ppl in a family will cause glabal warming....because of that my sim cant get married...stupid..

Hur Hur.
11:33 PM

today was fun...

met peijin in town...ahha we were both screaming man...so long nvr see u miss u man...haha

then went to sji for this jc mas...wah the preist is so draggy and lor suo....ahha mass was 1 n 1/2 hrs long then rushed back to have rosary...then dinner was at 10!!! AHHA

the aligners are killing me!!! my tongue's got two ulcers behid and one's gonna come out in front...ahhh can't chew man...so annoying ...if i get the blister infront...i won't be able to talk! then my slippers gave me like 2 blisters then rice lent me her shoes...(including socks) eeeew haha...its ok...then i got 2 more blisters behind so 2 at the side 2 behind...ahhhhhhh how to walk...


and i wore skirt today!!! hahaa..when we left church the gates were locked..and they wanted to climb the gate....i was like noooooooooooooooo! im in skirt!!!! ahhhhhh but then the side gate was open...sorta it was obstructed by bamboo planks haha...guess from the contruction site...

i hate the aligners...guess what...i'm filing (not filling, file-ling) them with nail file!! so it won't poke me hahah....lol annoying piece of plastic...

Hur Hur.
11:48 PM

Hey! do u hear my blog song! is "For You I Will" by Teddy Geiger..i think thats how u spell it...i think he sounds like john mayer ahha...hes like 18 only i think! amazing how american kids looks so much more mature than us singporeans...maybe its the hair...just a few months ago i looked like sec2 or 3...then when i dyed my hair people thought i was like already in poly...someone even offered me wine...haha amusing...

Ooooh! am i'm so happy!! my tagboard is now so happening! hhaha tag tag tag summore!!!


oh and i like these type of songs...so cheng...like clear soup...haha..sounds nice with the accoustic...

haha guess what i brought back form the dentist!!1 i brought back my teeth!! still intact and stuck in my gums!!! hhaha yay! but now i have aligners...like those that anne wore...the clear plastic ones..its to prevent me from biting so my that one lil tooth can be pushed out...that means...i can't clench my teeth!!!!! ahhhhh can't chew as well.... tml rice n i can't eat...why is everyone faster than me in braces!!! ahhhh...

i hope i can take it out b4 school starts...if not...so embarrassing..(my jaw sticks out..like i've got a problem with u face haha)....and i'll starve!!! ahah

after dentist i went home myself...so tired...didn't feel like going for mass... i felt so weird...need to go church!!! besides...i wasn't very happy today....arggh!! so freakin annoyed/irritated by








Never have I disliked someone so much like that before....but i'm too nice to say it in front of your face...





I just realised....HOW AM I GOING TO EAT MY MAGNUM!!!! noooooo....


I also realised...i like to wear skirts!!! ahhh weird...tml shall wear skirt...haha...now go town must wear skirt haha...

Hur Hur.
9:50 PM

I really wanna start school already!! i can't wait!!

omg! i have dental appointment tml...i hope i don;t have to pluck out my teeth! well he took a mould of my bottom teeth so that means i must be putting on the bottom set soon right...but it doesnt look like my teeth need to be extracted....I HOPE DUN NEED!!! I PRAY DON'T NEED.... please!!! i don't like the injections....


watched cassanova!! yay...for free!! hhaah it was a nice movie...i like those shakespearean times the sort of plays....or movies...damn cool...DRAMA DRAMA MAMA! thats me! i wanna go join drama hahaha...


i really think that the 'bath' and 'curtain' on my tagboard are 1 person....haha so funny bath curtain...if not...the person hu put bath is just real bored...

Hur Hur.
10:50 PM

Hello Guess What!!!!






I DON'T FEEL LIKE BLOGGING TODAY!!!!





whahaha except that...I BOUGHT NEW SLIPPERS!! haha

Hur Hur.
11:04 PM

not in the blogging mood...

all i can remember today is

Joan of arc the movie...woah..makes me reflect alot

being really distracted during mass

Daniel's Pet worksheet penmanship shirt

Jes's gay guy

My chrysanthamum tea

attempting to flood someones blog and threats with penguins

a cool penguin animation

pictionary of stupid stuff online

peguins...

more penguins...

a goldfish..

oh and i though my goldfish jumped out of the tank...totally freaked me out...imagine if i had to touch it...gross

Oh..suddenly i feel like blogging! hahaha..maybe cos online pictionary with jn yilin cher n pj has stopped hahaa

i was really distracted during mass lah...wanted to not take communion..but thats just weird if i don;t ...i feel that ive kinda lost a maybe i need to refuel my spiritulittle of that zeal for God...i don't know what to do..i've been talking to alot of people online...tell them..go pray..try to pray...how to pray...and how they should think bout this and that...its that what u want to do or what God wants u to do or even trying to bring people back to church...its kinda like draining me...its not easy to care or love so much...or even to try to... maybe i need....a break i guess..sometimes even when i talk to God or pray...i feel there's nothing much to say except the intercessions for the people who ive been talking to..it just seems so monotonous...maybe....

what should i do...i don't know...this feeling sux...i hate this...stupid stupid...why....i don't even feel like finishing the prayer book anymore...maybe if i stop coming online... haha...noooo...maybe i just need someone to talk to like how i talk to those pple online...how am i supposed to rest....or maybe thats not the word...this is the 1st time i cant explain what im feeling....it sux...i cant describe it...darn and i thought my english was good..haha


I just need my God...where did you go?
Where did I go? I'm lost...help me find you again....



Empower me oh Lord...
Nobody knows how weak i am
better than you

Jesus be strong in my weakness...
Empower me.


emo emo...elmo! now doesn't that break the tension...

Hur Hur.
10:05 PM

AHHHHHHH! that was the sound of oliver, soo and joel as they suddenly turned around and shouted at bel and i to try to scrare us yesterday... so altogether is sounded like a big AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH ...yep..stupid

spiritual prep was good...praise God...

Can't wait to go school!! CJC!! i wanna join legion drama coucil and maybe acts...haha sooo many its crazy....i cant wait!!

stupid apple pie aunty ignore me...HMMPH! next time i ignore her stall ...she heard me say aunty apple pie so many times then she still ask 2 more pple behind me and 1 who cut queue before coming back to me....hmmph!!

falafalafalallalalalalalala....ploop!

ok weird...

Yes Lord Yes Lord Yes Yes Lord...AMEN!
I say Yes to you/your will.

Hur Hur.
3:04 PM

I need a freakin new unbrella!!!! Stupid!!

why did i leave my fave and only one in church!!! its RAINING!!! how am i supposed to go to church!!! noooooo!!! my NEW bright pink n maroon umbrella!!! i still have its cover...waiting for it to be returned to me by whoever happened to see or say, "a pretty pink umbrella! i think i'll take it and not bother to find out whose it is!!" yes..

i even went back to look for it the next day u know!

oh my pretty lil mini pink umbrella
oh u made that whole 2 weeks of mine
so very much dryer than that poor weird fella's
i will miss you only when its rainy time

You were oh so very pretty...
however you turned, woah symmetrical!!
oh how spinning u made me dizzy...
u were so slim so small...yet so practical!

But now you're gone!
Gone forever and ever!
i will for awhile mourn
And yes i know my rhyming is so clever


haha ok im being lame

hint hint birthday is on the day when our posting results are out... tee hee


do that thng i linked! haha

Hur Hur.
4:07 PM

Click this!!!
http://kevan.org/johari?name=Denise+Jillian
do it!! now! ahhaa fun fun

Hur Hur.
10:40 AM

HELLO!



DO YOU LIKE MY NEW BLOG TEMP!!!

PENGUINS EVERYWHERE!!!!

ITS ALL WHITE!!



unlike my new HOT PINK wallet!! haha
the penguins are just so cute don't you just thinks so...
i edited it abit...well quite alot...there wasn't this window that ur reading in initially and i added the part on the left that says "well my God does...blah blah" yeah! i wanted to put "yes u see me!!! u see thousands of me cos im invading earth! haha" haha ok lame...but imagine penguins invading earth..more like overpopulating haha

i didn't go mass for 2 days!!! nooooo!!! JES I KNOW U SURE MISS ME!!! hahaa

went to get new hair cut and bought hot oink roxy wallet and white adidas shoes for school!! it has gold printing on it! GOLD IS BACK IN FASHION!!! ahha

i shall keep this post short.




hehe i said 'hot oink'!! ...by the way...i managed to get 1 person to say "poink"!!! haha loser!

Hur Hur.
12:40 AM

I still remember.

I still remember the time when we all sat down in a circle
in the good shepherd room
no foundation at all, no goals
but a want to contribute
contirbute what we had
whether it was in prayer or music or our deep faith
even if we had nothing to offer
we still came every week
wanting to do something
something more for the someone
whom we felt so amazingly loved by

Remember?
how we asked ourselves one by one
what could we possibly offer?
in music i said
but i wasn't sure if i could
i had a guitar but i hardly played it
it would be my challenge i said
my challenge for God
all for him.

I remember
praying to the Lord
please teach me
teach me to play the guitar
to play for u beautifully
like i never ever did before

I remember,
before that very day
how my fingers stumbled and smarted
as i tried desperately to change chords
how i couldn't find the beat of the song
how i couldn't strum a rythmn at all
how much i felt like crying out in frustration
i will never be able to play the guitar

I remember
keeping it back in its case
and putting it in a corner of my room
and saying, I hate this.
And there my guitar sat
blocked by numerous items
from then onwards
i never touched it again
until that very day
Three years later.

I remember,
that very day when i took out my guitar
from that very same corner
it was covered in dust
but inside it looked just as new

I remember,
holding it once again
but this time with a sense of conviction
that this time i could

I remember,
how freely it came to me
how wonderful it sounded
how i never wanted to stop
how i learnt to feel
feel the song, the mood, the rythmn
and how i felt God being with me
Giving me strength to go on

I remember,
my first praise and worship session
and how i thanked the Lord
for this wonderful gift,
for bringing me this far
and yet so much closer
back into his arms.

I still remember.



uh....that was my story on how i learnt the guitar! (the 1st part's bout Log did u even know?) not quite accurate..but the facts are there. haha. i'm not sure if its a poem..i've never written a poem before..haha it was fun! i think its pretty...maybe i'll chim-merise it later if im not lazy haha..then it'll sound prettier! haha.

A1 english!! haha doesn't reflect now does it! haha

But i really thank the lord for my ability to play the guitar and strum...i still play christian music best compared to normal songs...weird... haha..and woooh i thank him for teaching me to strum...and please don't call me 'Strum God'. There is only one and only true God...Our GOD! haha and nothing can ever be compared to him..not even a facet of him...like strumming...haha...u get it? u can call me..."God's Strummer" haha or "Strum Queen!" eee so old..."Strum Princess!!" ahha ok i getting lame...


i realise i speak really fast...so next time i'll try to pace myself haha..if not i sound chor lor haha.


i'm starting chinese tuition...tml!...ahhh...the stress..i feel it coming! nah! haha...

bye bye fantabulous hair....boooooooo


I hoped you like my long 'attempted poem' ...hah




omg...never have i ever felt so threatened by another person...who i don't even know...not jealous...threatened...and no...its not something to do with vday...haha...dun think so hard... omg its like potential competition! now this is pressure!!! haha

heres a clue...i better start practice my singing....

Hur Hur.
11:14 PM

I hate working! ahhh thats one reason why i dont wanna go poly...


is cj the right choice? haha but i submit the application already..so too bad! haha i'll make the place suit me! use my jedi powers! ahha

I'm so excited to go back school!

so many things to buy!

school bag...sch shoes...pencil box...pens...socks...wheeeeeeeeeeee! UNIFORM!

lol

found put today my tuition friend is Soo's school friend...saw his pic on soo's blog..and i was correct! lol...that 2 pple now...singapore is sooooo small...

Happy Valentines day people!!!

muacks!! haha

Hur Hur.
10:18 PM

hehe

decided!

I"M GOING CJC!!!! why? because...of everything aha

thanks to pple in log and class ...help me alot to choose...
i'll do submit my choices tml be 4 i change my mind again haha
nows too late..nites...
stupid mosquito bit my leg so many times

what im most happy about my results....

A1 ENGLISH!!! wooooh! THANK YOU GOD!



you are truly great...



how u know...maybe i got calling in cj...to evangelise!!! woooh!

funniest thing i heard today...justin sim say sa guys have...ahem..desires..lol

2 more people and my stat counter hits 5000! cool

Hur Hur.
11:41 PM

• Where to go where to go...
  
  Its either Ngeen Ann Poly Mass Comm, St Andrews Science or CJC Science....
  which is 1st 2nd 3rd? i don't know!!
  
  wanna know how i think...
  
  Ngee Ann Mass Comm.
  
  the good...
  
  Mass comm subjects are fun and interesting
• for CCA's there is Song writing club!! and Drama!!!
• Not much stressful homework
• I'm certain i'll get in
• Cool career prospects
• I'm quite sure can go Uni from there
• If not got Diploma to fall back on.
• No chinese! No Running!! (I only don't like running)
• if i go i will have 7 pts...woooh! yeah they want me!!
• Ngee Ann's mass comm is best

the bad....

• Am i missing out on JC?
• Harder to go Uni then from JC
• Its so far in clementi
• Might not be able to go daily mass
• I don't know anyone whos going there
• I'll be all alone
• Mass Comm is stressful
• Lots of project deadlines
• forces u too mature too fast
• my parents would like me to go JC
• I don't know how Ngee Ann poly looks like

SA science

the good...

• JC is prestigious
• SA is a good JC
• Sacian's dream school
• and i qualify
• so near my house
• so many straight buses
• my friends are there...in church as well as school
• can go mass easily
• short travel time
• uniform is nice
• school looks damn nice
• christian aspect
• My parents would like me to go to JC

the bad....

• I shot 1 point to go science
• not 100% sure they'll accept me in
• Homework!
• mugging!
• i might sleep again
• what if i don't do well for A'lvls? they all so smart
• Then i cant go Uni take mass comm
• The running!!!
• the chinese!!!
• am i missing out in poly?

Catholic Junior College

the good....

• Its catholic
• i'm affliliated
• they sure want me oso...12-4 = 8pts!!!
• i have straight buses
• my best friend might go there
• so many church friends going
• my parents would like me to go JC
• near to town
• theres legion of mary..(omg!! i'm crazy)
• can go daily mass...i got company :)

the bad....

• chinese!!!
• running!!!
• not as good as SA
• homework!!
• i heard their P.E is toughest!! ahhh
• the school quite old not as nice as SA
• most about same as the bads about SA

See! i'm in a dilemma...(is that how u spell dilemma? haha EL A1 haha) how... was planning to submit the form today...don't know i should or not now...

And still I pray...

Hur Hur.
6:10 PM

wah my freakin left eye pain lah! scully tml go church give out vday prezzies eye swollen!!! wah
lau!! noooooooo! cannot haha so ugly!!!

tmls AGM!! haha so i cannot dun go wahhh!!

i don;t know where to go!!! now too many places to choose from...mass com or SA or CJ? nooo can someone help me!!

God I need you...

Hur Hur.
12:55 AM

I LOVE MY AWESOME WONDERFUL GOD!!!!

I love him i love him i love him i am so thankful and i want the world to know how awesome he truly is!!! I LOVE HIM!! WOOOOOH!!!

haha guess how much i got! nevermind i tell u!!! 12 POINTS!!! hahahaha i know my prelim results i got 27!!! wah 15 pts diff!!! wooh i asked God for a miracle!!! and he gave me one! thank you! thank you! I LOVE YOU!!!

i was so happy and i wanted to thak God so much that i was considering becoming a NUN! hahaha ahhhhhhhhhhhh nooooooooooooooo i scared!!!!!!!!!!!

hahaha noooo dun think so much

but now i dunno whether to go jc or poly...so stressfull...(thinks of rice...SCREAMS INSANELY!!!) hur hur... but i think i still go poly haha...if i go poly i will have 7 POINTS!!! woooh! L1R4 9 pts minus 2 cca pts = 7 !!!!! whhahaha sure can go mass comm...but only thing is its so far haha i scared cannot go mass ....booo

haha i'm trying to bring this friend of mine back to church!!! yup...haha i feel so thankful to God for using me as an instrument :D i am! i know i've changed quite a bit..haha

i promised God...i will tell everyone praise God so....i'm going to everyone's...(welll most) blogs and tag OUR GOD IS AWESOME!!! hahahaah
( shit all tag-board.com got prob..stupid! i shall do it tml...)

oh and i lost 4 packets of gummy bears in sch....big packs!! ahhahhh supposed to be for log valentine ahhaha...dumb) i must learn to stop swearing ahaha

I love him so....


This is the song thats in my heart now....and so much more...

God is Great by planet shakers...

I stand in this place and lift
Up my eyes to see
THe glory of Your face

My God, how wonderful You are
How beautiful Your name
It calms the raging seas

With open arms I run into Your courts
I'll dance before You King of all the eath

You're great, great and mighty
King of glory, God of wonder
You're great, Ancient of Days
Keeper of my heart, lover of my soul

You are great and mighty
You are great and mighty
You are great and mighty

You are great
You are great
You are great

Hur Hur.
11:24 PM

I'm so excited about tomorrow!!!! wooooooooooh!!!!

RESULTS RESULTS! FINALLY!!!

PLEASE LET ME DO WELL!!!

I can't wait to wear my uniform!!!

i'm so excited!

tml must be very presentable...to the juniors!!! must look good then they worship u! haha no lah kidding! but its a must!! must REBEL REBEL!!!

gonna get christmas prezzies tml!! woooh! i know so late...ahha

THEN I SHALL GO CHURCH AND CELEBRATE!!!!!!!!!! WITH GOD! haha

I HAVE YET TO CRASH A SCHOOL!!! Hmmmnn

just listing my thoughts haha

GONNA WEAR MY UNIFORM TO CHURCH AND SHOW EVERYBODY!!! I like my uniform...i'm the only sacian there! sooo thats way cool! stand out! hhaha

GREEN EARINGS!!

I like robin hood kinda green...

matches my brown hair...woooh! like my button green earings!!!

wonder if they'd let me wear tml...!

i shall make a name tag tml!!!

saying... Leaven of God!!! wooooh!!! cool!! then ask juniors to collect for me haha

and a Denise Jillian one also! i lost that one...darn...and hmmn must see 1st

cos...i just got my weekly salary!!! woooh!

haven't opened my ang pao money....

THATS CRAZY YOU MUST BE SAYING!!!

WOOOOOOOOH I AM!!!

I AM CRAZY FOR __________!!!

Fill in with your imagination!


I"M DAMN SCARED ABOUT TOMORROW!!!!

AHHHH NOOOOOOO HELP ME!!!!

NO I'm NOT!!!

BUT I WAS!!

JUST A WHILE AGO

TILL I TALKED TO MY GOD!!!

THANK YOU!

LOVE YOU!

WOOOH U ROCK!!!



Our God is an Awesome God.

Hur Hur.
11:12 PM

Random facts.



Work is draining me...its 10.30 and i'm about to sleep.

I miss legion...i still say my daily catena...

I am happy...to see more youths coming for weekday mass

I don't know what to buy for Vday for Logers...not everyone eats chocolate...pin points*

This is making my life so hard...now i can't buy chocolates...oooh gummies! any objection?

My voice is back!...after the stupid block ear thing is alright woooh!

Havent played guitar or sang much for some time...don't understand why

Thinking of accepting to continue family business...pressure? rivalry? calling?

I'm learning to pray...thank you Lord!

Mom's nagging me to sleep...like always..

Trying to understand my dreams...i'm afraid...Lord give me strength

I'm not afraid of getting back my results...Tho I might not be happy it is what God has planned for me...but i pray for a miracle haha

Mom is annoying me...she saw what i typed bout the family business...urrghh! stop it!

Poey's nick says...'when all else fails...look cute!'...i totally agree! haha..well pray also lah..

I like toe socks!...rainbow ones are cute! haha i have...

My wallet is a guy's wallet...i need to get a new one...

I tagged something silly on Jes's blog...go see lah

I'm praying for you..uh don't bother to think..

This was on soo's blog.."Ok, I'm off to play my poorly neglected wife who has been missing me these few days..Don't think. Lol."....Sounds very wrong but...I know what it means hah...and yes...Don't think.



I wanna sleep! ..Good night!

Hur Hur.
10:44 PM

i feel spiritually high these few days..well not really like that but i do feel so holy ahah (looks at halo hovering above head) i feel really so much closer to God. Thats like a big difference since retreat last yr dec... and i'm glad...must be all those daily masses...i really do see the significance in mass now and the eucharist...its wonderful and it brings me back everyday... i like the adoration room...haha...its so holy...u should go...yes you...

Since i've grown much closer to God i've been having a problem..

you know what...i just thought of something...i should go post this on the Log blog...why? i don't know but theres this feeling that i should...hahaha see u in the log blog!

Hur Hur.
10:26 PM

Got this off Jes's blog haha

You Are Likely an Only Child

At your darkest moments, you feel frustrated. At work and school, you do best when you're organizing. When you love someone, you tend to worry about them. In friendship, you are emotional and sympathetic. Your ideal careers are: radio announcer, finance, teaching, ministry, and management. You will leave your mark on the world with organizational leadership, maybe as the author of self-help books.

Hur Hur.
12:05 AM

hey...im feeling much better today! haha...,aybe its because of the 7 oranges i ate! yup 7! i love oranges!!!! but now my fave colour is green! no more orange!! whahaha im a traitor...well how could i possibly eat 7 oranges!!! craziness! ahha they were tiny oranges...like this!

haha so cute right! well this ones peeled already...

That just looks weird haha

i feel happier today... yay! i feel like being crazy..well thats now...maybe it won't last...ahha somethings wrong with me...

Thats Yillin and I! haha the 7 reunion dinner....Miss ya loads!! one of the worst joke tellers ever...make that 2nd worst...i found out who was the worst just yesterday...justin sim haha...ask him to tell you the locked up in the desert joke...haha

Hur Hur.
3:30 PM

Don't know whats come over me today... feel so sad today...don't feel like talking at all... feel queasy as well hur hur...before mass also...just didn't feel like talking to the people around me...just listening...i asked myself i even prayed about it..why do i feel so....un-denise like..what happened to the bubbly girl who giggles and all..but when i talk i feel shutting up is much better...could't even finish my hokkien mee...don't feel like doing anything...don't feel like smiling... is this depression? for what? dumb...don't even feel like blogging no more...

Hur Hur.
9:00 PM

I feel very distant these few days...from well..everything...family friends religion....where the hell have been?

I really don't like this chinese new year...i didn't even bother to dress up...not even earings...the only thing was the heels...

somehow i just dreaded going visiting... even to collect angbaos...i didn't even care if i got any.. i just wanted to guess what!!! go to church...the only thing i looked forward to for cny was cny mass...but in the end i was totally distracted by my 3 baby cousins....who i played with all throughout mass...stupid stupid Denise.... why can't you just pay attention during mass!! and while recieving communion i didn;t even feel the importance of it while i tried desperately not to fall while walking on those high heels...(ok i was exaggerating..i was quite stable) while that makes it worst doesn't it! every sunday i pay very little attention during mass...or i fall asleep(by accident) is that why i go for weekday mass? guilt?

but whatever it is i really must go mass more...tml! havent gone in 3 days!!! can't stand it... maybe i should be a nun...HAH! that will never happen...shut up...whatever you were going to say.... i know you were going to...don't deny...

i need to go ado bad....i shall go tml early early...like 3pm...nah crazy...i just feel like crying...don;t know why? im not sad? why should i be? am i? why am i? why do i keep asking myself so many questions? stupid. I need a long chat with God...

.................stop it.................


went shopping and watched i not stupid too with Jn today then met up with the 7 for reunion dinner....

i really encourage evryone to watch that show...its so bloody good and heartwarming... i cried like more than 5 times(this im sure) even while holding back my tears...the whole theatre was like crying lah...am im not don't cry easily one.....woah...
one of the sadest things is that...the boy stole money and was found out and punished by his parents and when they asked him why he said we was saving 500 bucks so that he could have 1hr of his Dad's time...woah....tap water...On!! hur hur u really have to watch it man...anne u still wanna watch! i'll watch it again...

maybe its so sad because its so close to one's heart

spent 100 bucks today!!! woah! what wrong with me...hey but part of that sum was mom's present! green top gree earrings and green nai polish!! woah my new fave colour is GREEN!! bye bye orange!!! haha... then food was really expensive so yeah...thats altogether a 100 bucks plus...ice cream!!! haha

reunion dinner...how did it go? 2 people didn't show...sad...yes i was...really miss them loads? why couldn't they come? i don't really care if they forgot to buy my christmas present yet...is that why u din come? hey thats stupid...just coming would be good enough ( that dun mean can forget bout the prezzie ahha) Joce bought her bf! cjc! haha... he looks familiar.... hmmnn

i feel much distant from my 'clique' (are we even anymore?) theres just something differen't when i'm with Log...presence of God? woot woot! er...maybe...but thats not it...no its something much more...i can't describe it...ok so its God's love...yep its indiscribable...that must be it...hah...

i made fun of an odd couple today...after reading rice's post...i just realised it and felt very bad...God forgive me...stupid me..shit i just realised i wasn't exactly a saint today...

hey did you realise if you take out the 'i' in denise it becomes the word dense? no im not dense..don't you even dare think that! so does that mean if i don't think about myself im dense? shouldn't it be the opposite? haha this paragraph is stupid...

Lord Jesus
Empower me...

Hur Hur.
10:28 PM