here i go.
spoiling my future with As.

the rubik's cube has been solved twice. not by me but by shawn hao. congratualtions..
i still cant do it. sigh.

hmm..i wonder if confidence...or even ignorance makes up for lack of content studied or question practiced.

i shall be confident tml! with alot of practice! hahahahaha

my gawd i need a cross!

YES IM GG TO BRING A CROSS TO THE EXAMS TML!
OR A ROSARY! HAHAH :)

wish me luck of pray for me!

good luck to all those who are taking their As out there!!! :)

Hur Hur.
11:00 PM

I CANNOT DOOOOO DA RUBIK'S CUBE!!!
RUHHH RUHHH RUHH!!!!

ANNOYING!!!!

AND IM GLAD ITS OVER! :)

STUDY STUDY STUDY I MUST!

Hur Hur.
9:52 PM

my horroscope said..

"There is a huge risk of overreacting today -- you may not be able to anticipate it."

wow a lil late don't ya think.
thats the problem with friendster being international...

Hur Hur.
12:13 AM

:( :( :(
You know there are times you just lie to yourself...
but i really don't know....you know how blur sotong i am.
and then it becomes your reality. And its better. Just so no one knows your side..your truth or what happened.
:'(
its all a blur.

Hur Hur.
1:24 AM

:(

Hur Hur.
1:14 AM

everytime i have to refer to my guide book. i feel like quitting.
i think i should just memorise my guide book...then manipulate formulas.
like i can forget everything i memorise.
enough practice.
I wont forget how to get the answer but i for get all the theory and relations and stuff.

great.

all that makes me feel better is the last day of Alvls.

no thinking about it makes me sad...its so far away.

I wanna learn the piano after my As.
plus electric guitar.

and draw.
and paint.

and do the shoes.






Alvls make me sad as hell.

Hur Hur.
12:49 AM

i just heard a girl sing sreamo...
its didnt sound bad...wow...
shall try when As are done haha

went to run with my dad today ahhaha
well i ran he brisk walked ahhaha
eh wah lau i damn unfit already lah
then did sit ups and push ups...(me only dad wanna die already ahha)
wah wah shit...i cannot do 48 already!
maybe the bed isnt the best place to do sit ups...but hey..i got no mat!
and nobody told hold my feet!

wah sian damn unfit.

ok so now before As are done..i have 2 goals to reach...
excercise and lose weight! hahaha
and study harder!
practice non rockish singing..(secret secret) wahh really i dont like how i sound..
study harder.
wash face more! ahhahahah so that i dont have so much pimples! hahahaha A lvls has made the rate exponential! rahh
moisturise more! im drying up! hahaha

my gawd i sound like a bimbo.
and alsoo!!!
SPEAK PROPER ENLISGH!!!!! NO MORE WAH PIANG OR WAH LAU AND WAH KAO.. HAHA
NO CB OSO AHA only use proper english words like bitch and f ahhaha

i pray this will help me in my gp haha

ok good enligh start now!.

ok.
suddenly it seems so hard to jot down my thoughts.

i should just end here. haha

i can still use hur hur.

well anyway, ive been able to catch up with all the sleep i've missed so far. It feels damn good.

I sort of feel like giving up selling the post prom tickets already when people are selling at cost price. My class may not even want to go. But my secondary school friends want to go. Im at a loss.

Lets just let something pop right into my face and i'll just accept whatever happens.

sorry bout the last post anyway. Jehanne made me emo.


I really hate As still.
1stly. Its so long...
2. its so tough.
3.its made me grumpy.
4.and unhappy.
5 took away my freedom.
6.made me grow fatter.
7.made my pimples multiply.
8.gave me ulcers.
9.deproved my guitar and singing
10. cant play sims.
11.makes me guilty when facebooking.
12. introduced to us "ugly" guy.
13. made us emo.
14. made bochap wong actually sigh.
15. make us feel dumb
16.make us feel hopeless.
17.made ling sleep even less than usual
18.gave us eye bags.
19. make us snack.
20.make us spend money at macs.

anymore?



i know my english in those 20 points weren't exactly proper or splendid. but i had to pen them down before they escaped from my head!

you know something,i feel so weird typing like this.
please help my improve my gp!

i shall try to blog everyday as study relief.

And my literature..how am i to score?


I foresee myself in the future with just a good O level score. and perhaps a slightly impressive SAT. that's all there is to show for academics.
and perhaps a masters in art. :) or a degree in music :)


you know the thingys...haha the character traits that make up people. the traits the deem how talented an individual you are?

like musical spatial intrapersonal and mathematical and kinetic.

like isnt academics like just focusing on mathematical.
why cant there be a school that teaches these traits as subjects that make us a more talented individual overall! so that we may succeed in life without the main hinderence of judgement of our degree in our mathematical traits. this makes the rest of the traits viewed of as less important.

ok this is tiring.
maybe this way my posts will start to shrink.

Hur Hur.
7:10 PM

everything seems to bore my nowadays!

i need to like read the purpose driven life or something..

heck.

BUY FROM ME CJ POST PROM TIX. $20 (NEGOTIABLE)

it was good ot catch up with all of the seven..like ALL OF THEM!
like really
never laughed so hard for so long....

and jehanne got damn drunk and started called so many pple to tell them how much she treaured themm..but somehow she didn't scare me ahha. she was just amusing.
today was sweet.
really
HAPPY BIRTHDAY PJ! =)

i love each and everyone one of u guys.

and i dunno..when i got home i just like felt like talking to many people.. just wnated to talkt to many many pple...and i was so happy to talk to so many pple..
like i said HELLO! and stuff and it was all in caps to show my happiness and excitied ness..

i dunno. i just really miss my friends..and wanna talk to them..after hearing what jn siad..
i really dont want to lose any of my friends. like really. i treasure u guys alot.
alot alot. alot alot alot. I HAVE NO REAL SIBLING! I ONLY HAVE U GUYS U KNOWWWWW!!!


YAR.

and my siblings are like disappearing...poof! whyyyyyyyyyyy boooooooooooooooooo i hate As i HATE HATE HATE HATE HATE IT!

IF I SAID I HATE U ON MSN I DONT MEAN IT! HAHAHAHAAH
ITS A BAD WORDDDDD BAD BAD BAD BAD BAD WORD...THAT I PICKED UP FROM LING..
LING CAN U DONT USE IT...ITS NOT NICE! I DONT LIKE TO SAY I HATE U TO PPLE..COS I REALLY DONT AND I KNOW U DONT TOOO AND THE WORD HATE MAKES PPLE VERY VERY VERY VERY SAD...I DONT LIKE HATE. I DONT LIKE IT ALOT! OK. I SHALL NOT SAY IT! UNLESS I REALLY MEAN IT! COS ITS REALLY NOT NICE! DONT SAY IT OK!!! NOT NICE...NOT NICE..........



YAR.


uh.


yar.


uh.


i lost my train of thought.


I LIKE LOST MY CHOCO DIGESTIVES BISCUITS TODAY IN THE LOIBRARY!! WHYYY AFTER I TOOK SO LONG TO FIND IT! RAHHH RAHHHH.



I REALLY LOVE ALL MY FRIENDSS!!!!! AND IF I LIKE DUN TREAT U WELL ENOUGH U MUST TELL MEEEEE OK!! OK! OK! OK! OK! OK! OK! OK! AH! OK!


YAR.


AND LIKE
WHEN JN WAS SANE...SHE ASKED ME IF I SOMETHING GREATENESS...
CANT RMB..

LIKE WE WERE TAKING ABOUT OUR FUTURE..

AND I HAVE ALOT OF EXPECTATIONS OF MY SELF.
I FELT THAT IF IM FORTY AND IM NOT A MANAGER OR DIRECTOR OR HAVE MY OEN BUSINESS OR NOT A SUPERSTAR...OLD SUPERSTAR HAHAHA OK PRODUCER OR SOME SHIT. MY LIFE IS WATSED! I FAILED IN MY LIFEE!!

I MUST MUST! IF NOT ITS NO POINT!
IM NEVER SATISFIED WITH DESK JOBS CONTINUOUS STUFF THAT MAKES ONE SATISFIED WITH PAY.

LIKE

I MUST SUCCEED IN LIFE! LIKE I GOT IN COUNCIL! SUCCEEDED!
GOT IN JC! SUCCEDED!
GOT MY OLVL PTS..12 SUCCEEDDED!
BE IN LOG! SUCCEEDED! YES..MY PLAN WAS TO BE MORE INVOLVED IN GOD.
BALNCED 3 CCAS! SUCCEEDED!
SING WELL! SUCCEEDED.
EVERY AUDITION I MADE IT THRU SUCCEEDED!
EVERY FRIEND I MAKE SUCCEEDED! I TREASURE FRIENDS OK. SO BEING MY FRIEND MEANS..IM SO HAPPY.
SETTING UP PIMP MY SHOE! SUCCEEDED!
DRAWING WELL SUCCEEDED!
PLAY THE GUITAR! ALMOST SUCCEEDED!

BUT LIKE ALVLS! I CANT SUCCEED IN THAT! I HATE IT I HATE IT! LIKE WHY! WHY! WHY!!!!
AIODHOSAHDOISAHDHSADHSAIFHSAF
RAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!
WHY DOES IT FEEEL SO HORRIBLE!!!
I HATE IT. CAN I JUST PON!
STUDYING STUDYING I CANT STUDY...THEN WHY DID I EVEN GET 12 PTS THAT MAKE ME THINK I WAS SMART WHEN IM NOT! LIKE WTH. WHYYYYYY
IM TRYING TO STUDY..I STUDY..I CANT STUDY AS HARD AS LING..BUT SURE I KNOW I STUDY HARD..ITS THE HARDEST I HAVE STUDIED! AND LIKE I KNOW PPLE WHO STUDY LESS HARD YET ARE SMART! LIKE WHY!

CANT I JUST WORK ON MY TALENTS AND SUCCEED THRU LIFE THAT WAY!
WHY..............
ACTUALLY I CAN.
BUT WHY.
WHY MUST THE TEST CALLED ALVLS DETERMINE HOW PPLE JUDGE U!
WHY! IS MY IQ TEST ALWAYS LIKE 140 139..THEY SAY IM ABOVE AVE BUT IT DUN SHOW NOW DO IT!!! SO SO SO DUMB.
MIGHT AS WELL TELL ME I HAVE LIKE 100 OR SOMETHING.









CAN U TELL ME.
WHY IS ALVLS SO HARD..WHY ARE WE TAKING IT. DO U THINK U CAN BE A DOCTOR? OR A MEDICAL PRACTIONER? OR A LAWER. IF U CAN THEN DUH!! DO U WANNA BE AN ENGINEER??? OK LAH IF U WANT! BUT I DONT WANT DONT WANT. CANT IMAGINE MYSELF DOING THAT.

I NEED A JOB WHERE I EARN MONEY FROM MY CREATIONS. CREATION OF ARTWORK, MUSIC, CREATIVITY, OR EVEN BUSINESS..






AND ALVLS IS GG TO SPOIL ALL THAT.



SO I MUST WORK HARD.
SO THEY WILL JUDGE ME WELL.
OVERALL.


BUT ITS SO HARD. WHEN U DONT KNOW WHO UR COMPETING AGAINST IN THE ROUTE I CHOOSE.
IF I GET GOOD GRADES..I WILL BE LIKE..U MEAN I COULD DO THAT? OK BUT IM NOT GG TO USE IT.
IF I GET BAD GRADES..I WILL BE LIKE. OK I EXPECTED IT...JUST ACCEPT IT. ITS MY FAULT. WHAT CAN U DO NOW..


I DONT WANNA BE A FRIGGIN DOCTOR. OR ANYTHING THAT INVOLVES ME GG UNI.
I WAS THINKING OF COMMUNICATION STUDIES..BUT MY GP SUCKS..SOMETHING I DISCOVEED FROM IN JC..WHEN ALL THESE WHILE MY SEC SCH TEACHERS SHOULD HAVE SAID..DENISE DO EXXPOSITORY..NOT NARRATIVE..ITS A WASTE OF TIME..EVEN IF U GET A1 THE SKILLS CANT HELP U IN JC UNLESS U WANNA BE AN AUTHOR.

YEP.

I DONT WANT PHOTOGRAPHY.
ITS THE CAMERA.. I HELPING THE CAMERA TAKE IT.
I WANNA DRAW. COS A PENCIL CAN ONLY LIKE MAKE A SPLOGE IF I DONT HOLD IT.


I NEED A PURPOSE IN LIFE.


PLEASE DO NOT QUOTE ME HERE.

IM SELFISH..
cant help it now can i at this point of time..when u dont know what u want... u just want everything....

so i want to get good grades..and this and that and that and this and..
i really wanted to blog all this out and not keep in inside.
so i did it.














and i wanna say..all those who feel like crap due to the As...i know it sucks like shit. Sigapore is one of the most stressed countries in the world. be have to bear with it.
and tml.
we will smile.

Hur Hur.
12:02 AM

exciting exciting!
many exciting opportunities given to me by a secret person! =)
i have no idea why its secret still but hey..ok. haha

3 new orders for pimp my shoe =) wow...busy busy happy happy..

i predict i will earn some money soon...;)
not pimp my shoe money tho...extra money...

feels good. so many things right now...

winning a face book fight...with at first only 9 people on my team and 16 people on the enemies side and then with sudden desperation..you ask so many people you dont care if they think you're crazy that in 1 hr....12 more people have joined you while the other only only 5 . they killed off 6 we killed off 5...it was too late..we had to sleep.

they had no more street cred..then somemore joined me in the end. 10 more secs. will the trump us with a last full kill? nah..they went to sleep.

hhaha


it was like a cj (plus good friends) and rj war.. hahaha

WE DID IT! HAHA

Nice try mark! =) ahahahahahha
don't mess with the best!







they had this question that said...so...what makes you so interesting? ahhaha



Gotta Get Thru This Lyrics
Daniel Bedingfield


When your love is pouring like the rain
I close my eyes and it's gone again
When will I get the chance to say I love you
I pretend that you're already mine
Then my heart ain't breaking every time
I look into your eyes

If only I can get through this
If only I can get through this
If only I can get through this
God, god, gotta help me get through this

I gotta get through this
I gotta get through this
I gotta make it, gotta make it, gotta make it through
Said I'm gotta get through this
Im gonna get through this
I gotta take my, take my mind off you

Give me just a second and I'll be all right
Surely one more moment couldn't break my heart
Give me 'til tomorrow then I'll be okay
Just another day and then I'll hold you tight

your love is pouring like the rain
I close my eyes and it gone again
When will I get the chance to say I love you
I pretend that you're already mine
and my heart ain't breaking every time
I look into your eyes

If only I could get through this
If only I could get through this
If only I could get through this
God, god, you gotta help me get through this

I gotta get through this
I gotta get through this
I gotta make it, gotta make it, gotta make it through
Said I'm gotta get through this
Im gonna get through this
I gotta take my, take my mind off you

Give me just a second and I'll be all right
Surely one more moment couldn't break my heart
Give me 'til tomorrow then I'll be okay
Just another day and then I'll hold you tight

your love is pouring like the rain
I close my eyes and it gone again
When will I get the chance to say I love you
I pretend that you're already mine
and my heart ain't breaking every time
I look into your eyes

If only I could get through this
If only I could get through this
If only I could get through this
God, god, you gotta help me get through this

I gotta get through this
I gotta get through this
I gotta make it, gotta make it, gotta make it through
Said I'm gotta get through this
Im gonna get through this
I gotta take my, take my mind off you

Give me just a second and I'll be all right
Surely one more moment couldn't break my heart





imma gonna try this song and own it! haha i dont really like his voice at some parts..
i'll put it on my imeem. on the left! uhuh so go hear!
and listen to dear life by anthony hamilton!

hahaha omg damn retarded look what i found!



but i think they just edited it ... not really he sing wan.. well i think daniel beddingfield is still damn gy and yes at parts he sounds like a chip munk ahha

i'll still upload it to i meem ahha

the orginal non acoustic versions is...GAGS..

Hur Hur.
2:02 AM

i havent been blogging for awhile..
i dont even know what date it is.
even tho im supposed to like count down to alvls.
heck i dont even know when it exactly starts.
let alone ends.

sometimes i feel alvls is like just a barrier..something that i can either climb over. or walk around.
but due to the many pple climbing over. yeah. sure. i'll do that. when it would be so much convenient and easier to walk around it. a decision not many have.

it all the depends..whats beyond the barrier.

of fact.. i dont even think my goal is behind the barrier. but beside it. such that i have no idea why i am gg over the wall in the 1st place.

but i know i must.


today i had the weirdest. reallest dream. ever. that made me not want to wake up. it was as though i was predicting the future. yet some bits i hoped to be true while some i hoped would never happen.

i still cant get it outta my head. it even felt so real. and whats more i dreamed it. woke up. then slept again..and it continued. like woah..cant get it outta my head huh.

then i look back and wonder why.
i thought it had ended for good.
and i was happy.

and now its back.
and im sad. and emo. yet happy.

i seriously need a secret blog where i can dun be so vague ahha.
only 2 people in the world knows about this.

wow.....

and
and
and

im lovin this song right now..its dear life by anthony something..from the step up movie. the guitar is totally wonderful.. classical..not what i'd usually like but. wow. 2 guitars both instumental but somehow different tunes yet they complement each other so perfectly with the somewhat husky soulful voice of a perhaps hispanic guy with that accent. (i think they guy may be old..heh but who knows..paolo nutini is freaking young but he sounds like an old guy ahha a super nice to hear old guy) excellent guitar and excellent vocals.


must send this to milli and gareth.
they will like it too!




let me tell u something. like i realised. my voice is husky..as in not smooth and sweet and clear..but husky and powerful maybe haha something that would suit songs like from paolo nutini or james morrison or rock. but not like celine dion or mandy more or perhaps even the high sch musical girl... whose voices are sweet and clear which apparently.appeals to the masses and what i mean is cj. that is sad.

oh well. i found out also that the blind spot in my singing..that note..is not really a blind spot..but the circumstance of a low note from the diagphram i dunno how to spell..to a high not from i dunno not diagpram.. even tho i think it still is but with a sudden cut down on power to sound sweeter. i can do that note with that much power...its just that it will osund operaish and not nice. hahahahahahhaha and that sucks.

so my vocal range is i dunno i still think it sucks..
so like whats so impt about what i discovered.
its not tested in alvls.

sigh.

and like who cares right.
so dumb. even i dont care.




i want a dog who i can tell my secrets too.
wait theres God.
haha

hi God. but you already know..
why aren't you helping me?
maybe u are already.
but. maybe i just dont see it.
then God please shove it right infront of my face
so i can see it. like maybe penned down in words
or like some divine OBVIOUS intervention.


cos i sure am the heck blur like sotong.

Hur Hur.
12:27 AM

i actually feel sad..
it ended to fast.

today i decided to walk all the way home from serangoon mrt.
i didnt want to go home... it just felt like
if i went home.
it was the end.

and then i realised. this year. was the best year of my life.

i really love t26...alot.
may all of you have a good future..ahha so cheesy..involving me ok! haha

i dont want it to end.

Hur Hur.
8:44 PM

ive been thinking alot..
but theres not conclusion to it.. yet.

i fell asleep at the bus stop today while waiting for daddy.
god knows how many pple stared at me.. with my big bag of barang barang with a mat inside..they might have thought i was running away aha

tml's graduation day..last day in cj..

i really do love cj. alot. its the best sch ive been to so far.

serious.

but im not sad...
cos i'll predict i'll come back alot.
and

i dunno why but somehow i miss the j1s more than the j2s...maybe cos they too have to go but..
its like too long never see the j1s lah..1st prelims then now promos..

gonna miss my council juniors..like alot..i wont say love themm but i like MOST of them like most most.. ahha they really are a nice bunch..

im gonna miss 1t08.. ALOT!
and all the times i went to their class to relax...

and im gg to miss the no relation to me j1s! hahahaha
like i dunno..many no relation pple..

but i wont miss my lil church buddies...cos i still get to see u every sun.. sorry dan and simeon ahha

and im gg to miss all my orientation grp pple!!! ahhhhhh

aiya....
i already miss them...




AND IM GG TO MISS COUNCIL PPLE ALOT! 32ND COUNCIL!!!
AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH
IM GG TO MISS MUSIC!!!
MILLI DAPH AND SHARMAINE!!!
AND THE COUNCIL SLACKERS!
AND THE BENCH WARMERS! AND EVERYBODY!!! AHHHH

but i dun think i'll miss t26 yet cos i'll sure get together with them soon.
BUT I WILL IF WE DONT ! ILL MISS THEM ALOT ALOT ALOT ALOT ALOT UNTIL DIE.
OMAGAWD!!!!

AND THEN I'LL MISS THE FENCING + EXTRA PERSON CLIQUE!!!
AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH
but then i forsee many outings together....
hahhaha

feels like those groups where..you;d meet up for every birthday and every so often just to hang out... and which will last long long! yay! like MY SEVEN!

YOU HEAR THAT I LOVE DA SEVEN! HAHAHAHA
=)

and i'll miss my teachers too expecially mr foo! he's the funniest teacher ive known lah.. mr tay and..mr glascow and...uh..hhahahah not renga.

I MUST SAY THAT TODAY FOR ECONS TUTORIAL HE JUST SAT INFRONT AND PLAYED HIS COMPUTER FOR 1 HR! W/O EVEN TALKING TO US..WTH!

oh well bye bye =) aha

and and and and and
today i heard many korean drama and boy is my life boring.but hey..its good in a way.

and
then
theres
this
tingling
feeling
i
get
when
im
super
excited
about
something
;)
i was like woah..im tingling! i must be really excited ahha

our secret! nah bet many will know sooon enough. hahaa

Hur Hur.
11:06 PM