I'm so not used to blogging here.
i think everyone thinks this blog is dead.
and many dont know it.

its dead because its my emo blog.
and when im emo i blog. so heh.

if you see this lucky you...please do not spread.
if you dont...perhaps lucky me.
but who really cares eh.


i realised when im serious...my voice changes to my singing voice.
and what i say. i seriously mean it.


i think people are great the way they are and should not change because thats who they are and thats what makes them them.
only unless how they are makes them hurt themselves...only then thats screwed up and something should be done. or if they are just evil by nature and up to no good.
they are fucked up dont bother talking to them.


but we should embrace how people are. if they are like that then good! dont see the band in people but the good. if its not how you like it. then so be it! not everyone can be happy. people must give and take. love your friends for who they are. and why worry bouth stuff so much. you are like that and you are like that thats what makes u and u who u are and thats how its good.

i dont know lah...but its good to talk things through. yes but then to the wrong person sometimes.
but i understand. and i'll do my best..but it has to be both ways.

and things are getting rather problematic with the band and our upcoming gig.
remy has Os and mother trouble and gigs at the same time so stressful.
popo has army and we dont know if he can make it for the gig till next week...and its so soon.
and joan has been so busy with airforce shes so tired on sats and getting sick.
and ansel is worrying too too much. and he has to practice singing seriously and hard to improve and harmonise. i think u need to listen to how you sound more than what people say.
and darryl...i dont know...he seems worry free. ahaha abit scary but good. i hope.

and me. my only prob now is.
i dont know what i do all day long and time is ticking.
i still have my portfolio to do and resume too.
and truth is i really hope may 16 wont clash so id get the job and gig too.
but gig comes 1st unfortunately. and not a bad unfortunately tho.

and i forsee a family problem arising. but lets hope not.
=( that would really tear me to pieces.


and i hope my shoes dont die.
and i dont want to be a nobody in life. but i cant be in cj forever.
and i really miss them loads but i think they dont care or they are too busy.
ok so i miss going to cj and waving at almost every table in the canteen during recess.
i feel like britney going crazy but not so extreme.



and i dont feel that log are my friends anymore. they just drift apart. its like they dont care abut me and whats going on in my life now..but thats partly my fault too.. cos i stopped caring too. because we all just got so caught up with school.


and i miss my seven. but i feel to busy to meet them.
why? am i so selfish?

but im so scared to go out of my house and enjoy time with friends. because i am actually stressed.
but im not doing anything im just killing myself all over and over everyday.
am i mental? seriously...


right now my priority is

1. Band and gigs
2. Portfolio
3. Resume

all is important man.... all as important just that the date line is diff.

and i miss my class people...and i feel that..

actually i just feel that... nobody cares.
and when they do...i feel that there are nagging.

like justin sim was nice enough to say denise did u do ur portfolio...and i just go yeahh yeahh but im not.. like seriously. denise.


and like. im crazy i swear.
im killing me.

what is my problem.
i seriously dont know.



i just like seeing things all happy.

like if im happy i make u happy and everyone is happy.
but if im not happy...?
i'll make myself happy.
so everyone will still be happy.
then i forget im sad till the end of the day.
and then it hits me.

like i can bluff myself... but for how long...


well i havent been emo for days..which is good.
im not really emo now. this is only like outta 10...level 4.

so Priase God...he has made me wise and strong.
in good times praise God
bad times praise God.

know that he is always there.
for you.

its whether you see him anot.

i need to change how i am procrastinating so much...its affecting me and my future and leaves me with less time to help my friends.


Hi I am Denise. I am superwoman! i want to be your friend so i can solve your problems for you because that is what i like to do.
i am crazy. but its true.
Because i love my friends and want them to be happy.
Thus I will always be happy.
:(
I don't expect anything back. I react weirdly that way.


im not mother teresa...
im just weird. trust me.




in my head i always speak with my singing voice.
its clear and low and honest.

Hur Hur.
11:35 PM