Fuck lah.
Actually I'm rather pissed and disappointed.

Because I don't know whats going on.
but it affects me.
And im in no position to know.


Is this fair?
I can only guess.
And guessing makes me judge badly and i don't want to do that.


Other than that.
I hope they do not give up.
I'm hurt in a sense that I can't really do much.
Or that I have no power.
Or that my advice was not taken.


That seriously was the main reason why I gave up a good friend.
But these 2 are too precious to let go cos I love them so much.



But I feel that I should take a back seat and chill.
And let all the people who are killing me indirectly just get on with their lives and suffer in their mistakes and their inability to do what is right for whatever reason even tho it may be hard or perhaps in their blindness.

Because.
I am Sick.
And I am Tired.
Selfish aren't I?
Well thats how it started in the 1st place. I might as well learn.


And lets face it.
I am no super girl.
I can't do anything.

Only God can.
Thus I just realised I must pray.




Random:

I am mature.
But I may be blind at times.
I know I behave young.
Thats all.
But I cannot stand the immature and irresponsible.
What is your defence if you are not?
Don't give me a reason to judge badly.
For now you are given the benefit of the doubt.



Whoever still reads this.
Don't think too much.
Don't judge me.
This blog is supposed to be closed.


Remember you were never here.

And for goodness sake...don't ever think its you.
unless you know so. You don't have to think. heh.

Theres a reason why this blog is black and says emoing days ok.



You know what.
I think selfishness is my greatest enemy.
Because I have a big problem.
I just care too much and worry too much.
Just that I don't say it.
When i say it means im pissed lah.
And if im selfish. I guess it means i give up.





But this is a temporary selfishness.
For me. My vacation.
Back to apathy.


OH GOD!
Apathy??? Is back to haunt me again.
Damn.
God I need you.




I don't wanna be a selfish idiot.

Hur Hur.
1:39 AM

I feel like everyone is dying around me.

Milli's grandad..may he rest in peace and meet God.

And I feel like more are dying...........
Trying to be supergirl is draining and saddening.
But I love them too much.
Its ok.
It will be ok.
It will be ok.
I will help make it ok.

God will help.

Hur Hur.
12:53 AM

I know i've been so happy these few days...
and i haven't been involved in many bad shit.

But today I cried.
It maybe not be my problem.
But at least i feel like im still human.

And know that I love you guys very much.
very very very very much.



Don't die. =(




There's a difference between having many many friends and that small bunch of friends who mean a whole hell lot to you.






You know the saying how friends should always be there for each other?
maybe some don't.
They just see themselves.
=(

Hur Hur.
4:54 PM

I don't know what to think anymore...

Hur Hur.
10:49 PM

We were this close.

now it seems we are like this far apart
(stretches arms wide open till it hurts)
=(

in 15 mins
i was sad
HAPPY
sad

i know zilch bout you or what you've become or if you're still the same...



i very happy for ___________ =)
glad i'm the 1st you told. really it made me super happy.
if im in the same position. i will tell you 1st too :) but i seems like quite some time more.. heh



i had a dream where i blogged here....

i miss you i miss you i miss you i miss you i miss you i miss you (ok now repeat for like 50 lines down...i can't do it. this is as close to fulfiling that dream i had. heh)


hey its just a dreammmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm
hehe =)




mood: angry happy sad mad hopeless! ahaha

Hur Hur.
12:16 AM

I miss the coyfoy!!
alot recently!
now is coyfoy plus 3 months.
damn ahha

Hur Hur.
11:21 PM