Im freaking pissed..

Now its time to change my priorities in life..

God comes 1st
Council 2nd
Me last.

Its supposed to be.. Jesus 1st Others 2nd and You last..and u get real J.O.Y! get it? ahahha

But council limits others to a small group of people...or the school as a whole..or a big group but really vaguely..hhaha

oh well! i campaigned for it! i love it! but i love legion too....




ok heres the problem..
i suggested to have legion fellowship on friday..
and then council said they would have bonding games on that day
so i postponed it..
to monday!
and council postponed theirs too
to monday!

ahhh so freaking irritating!

and i really love legion! the people so fun!
ok i know this is a social thing..
ok..fine so this is a personal want
but i love them! hahaha
i even gave them names!
like pets ahhahahaha

but council comes b4 legion..
yeah i know

and summore!

i felt so guilty..
about the syf thing
that no one from ca can go
ok so they needed one more person
so i volunteered in the end

but. i have tuition
and my teacher is pissed with me
if not been going and i cant go on monday and wed
cos theres council
im gonna embarrass myself terribly in chinese orals
you know i hate chinese
you know i cant read.
freak.
my chinese is doomed
i bet i'll have o take clb next year
sorry teacher
but i too lousy.
im too busy.
i know thats not an excuse
thats a choice
a costly choice i made.


one more thing!

i have to plan finish LOG SESSION!
and some legion people are going.
It has to be good.
have to show them we not some jang jang crazy youth group
and that we are proud to be catholics
but we just more nicer people ahahha and fun

i'll have to resort to planning..
praying..
asking the spirit to help me
while theres singing and music and stuff
during syf.
so much things to distract me.
but maybe this is just a test
of my faith.
and strenght.

so i will not lose hope!
for my faith is strong!
Even if i feel so crappy bout it
i know God has a plan for me
and nothing happens by accident.
Like the email said.
there are no coincidences..
thats where God wants you
and that very moment.
And if you trust in him.
Things will go well.

WELL CANT STOP ME FROM COMPLAINING THO!

theres still another thing!

SYDR bbq at SFX..
we're supposed to be there..
well at least i can go back church with swee.
i was supposed to go church early to plan finish with anne and bel
but now i cant cos of the freakin syf!
so have to plan it on my own
i hope everything we plan seperately falls nicely though.
and so
we cant mingle later at the bbq
we have to steal as much food as possible
then lock ourselves in a room and plan.
and eat.
unless the church pple say cannot stink up the room.
then i'll have to resort to starvation
and sneak up once in a while for a chiken wing or something.



Sometimes..

life just is so unfair...

this busyness..

i guess

is a cross i have to carry..

and i hope

i wont loose hope

and always remember..

Its things times like these

where i feel the weakest

when perservered and without giving up

with God by my side. (impt!)

i come out a stronger person

then i once was.


yay..

that actually sounded wise..is wise!

and it came from me!
but dunno whether i heard it b4 lah..

wah seh! can use it in sharing later!

thank you Lord!



haha


i trust in you.



i know i'll experience many more trials ahead..
and i have gone through many b4..
(dang why dies council keep doing this to me and i still join)
(i guess im weird)

but

"i wont give up,
no i won't break down
sooner than it seems life turns around
and i will be strong
even if it all goes wrong
when im standing in the dark
i'll still believe
Someone's watching over me..."


HAHAHA GAY! HILLARY DUFF SONG!

but still its meaningful right now..hahaha
its called "someones watching over me: nice song..i'll send it if u ask me :)

i hope i can soon sing this though..

" Thank you lord for the trials that come my way
in the way i can grow each day
as i watch you lead
and i thank you lord
for the patience those trials bring
in that process of growing
i can learn to care..

blahblah
haha
this song is future tense
the hillary duff is present tense
i hope my grammar stays perfect yeah..
get my drift...hahah

is this song sacred or secular music

im kinda confused after a pnw discussion haha
but i still love music
haha
not jang jang music!
thats only nice to hear!
but i know its not proper for pnw!
haha
but still not all those church sacred secular music
can be used for my session ahahahaa
cos it deals with problems we are experiencing
and the lyrics somehow just fit u know..


i just thought of something
u know the fill my cup song?
its kinda hyper isnt it
like upbeat...
it seems happy..
but i dont think the lyrics is happy..
its just weird
its kinda sad actually..the lyrics
its more like a yearning hahahahha

" fill my cup lord i lift it up lord come and quench this yearning of my soul..bread of heaven feed me till i want no more fill my cup fill it up and make me whole"

i dont see someone singing this happy haha

ok im just rambling
haha

maybe i just dont like the tune..hahah

and if i change the tune..to something thats more suitable to the lyrics..
is it still sacred music? it is right..its used in church hahahaha


ok rambling rambling

i ramble alot

partly beacause i have no need to study! whahahha
so i preoccupy myself that oso confuses me
very smart move denise

hur hur

ok i tired..
i really want a massage
hahaha

buh bye!

i love Log!
haha
i love how we arent like other youth groups
so jang jangish
jumping here there everywhere
shouting yelling
screaming!
i think the music part..is just to make the song beautiful!
haha..if u play..u also lead in worship
and so cannot anyhow jang jang
ahhh
shit
im rambling again

im gald im music ic haha
im just so obessed bout music
is that good or bad? hahaa
well at least now i know more bout it




EH I FORGOT TO BLOG BOUT TODAY!

STUPID RAMBLING

ok was in the prayer room at 10.30
with anne
to plan for session
then legion
then my freaking beautiful chopstick broke! ahhhhhh
anne say she glue for me
thank u!
then legion went to eat longjohn silver! at far east
speaking of that
anne and i are now
L2J2S2 parteners! Longjohnsilver squared haha
legion log jang jang spiritual sharers ahaha
then go walk walk abit
then go play pool!
but only Darren Jon sim and i play..booo
the rest pang seh
and joan and mag went wrong place
sorry gals!! im so so so so sorry!
did alot of consoling during pool haha
cos the white ball had a strange attraction force to the holes haha
wah seh my white ball jump over my solid balls and into the freaking hole!
the stick and the stripe balls were jinxed i tell u!
haha then i stepped on some sticker thing..my slipper lah
and i was freaked out by it
it wouldnt come off
so i used a coin
darren helped me oso
help so much that perhaps part of the sole came off haha
i think it was gum ahha yuck..oso bad
like the one on the bus
thanx ah anne
bluff me make me sit near it
and i think i pool really badly..
cos jon sim let me shoot again even tho i foul hahahaa
ok so i play badly
but i still like pool!
next time i bring lotsa powder! haha
powderpower!
hahaha

ok then go home

and i cannot go on mon
bye bye beautiful east coast park
hello council peole with bonding games in school.





Dear Lord..
Give my strength..
Empower me..

Hur Hur.
9:26 PM