Today is officially my 1st free day for the holidays.
i really have NOTHING to do! except later i have to go church and plan for session...ahhh i have nothing! i need to pray...meeting anne and bel later..
Today im supposed to spend time with God..haha woke up and took out the jam with the lamb and played guitar. but...cant isng in the morn..didnt feel like doing much...but eating...haha
and stupid swee! you woke me up! i thought it was my hand phone alarm...but anyway it was already 11.30 ahha
ok..
im addicted..
to the high school musical song! Breaking free!!! its so nice!!
ahhhhh so nice...i havent even watched the movie ahha its on disney channel and my parents took off all the cartoons!! not fair...its replaying on sunday...anyone? wanna invite me over? ahahhaa
music is so beautiful! i love music!! music music !! MEYOUSICK!!! HAHAHA
my dream...is too be in a musical...and sing a song! on stage!!! really! serious! its like the coolest thing ever...! singing on stage...like the breaking free song! omg! ahhh i can just die...hahahahah i like to sing haha
i love music... AHHHH music is wonderful! beautiful! ahhhh so lovely! pop rock jazz hip hop punk rock ballads rnb rap and PRAISE AND WORSHIP!!
whatever it is...i like!!! i like rock! yes i do!! and ballads ahahahaha abit extreme yeah...i just dont really like classical...cos theres no words..i need to understand what im hearing...i have a problem...i need to understand everything...ahhahahahha then im satisfied ahha
i like nickelback hur hur...and emo songs..
emo emo emo emo emo emo!!!
i lurve it!!
haha
pnw is oso soooooo beautiful!!
i dont understand why people can..not like pnw.. like jon chan hahaah the milk man!
its so sad..
music is like poetry! with tune! and easy to remember haha..it helps one express oneself! its so nice...i like emo songs!! i like kelly clarksons voice..haahah
life would be plain without music...dull i tell u...monotonous..borinG!
hur hur i just reallised..im music ic haha
and i have a passion for music!!! yeah!!!!
and Pnw! love it!
some catholics are against it..because its really christianish and prefer..stuff like taize..haha i like taize leh! hahaaaahaa
i agree with that fact...but whats wrong with that..its not evil wad ahhahahahah
its beautiful!
haha
i love music! and i apreciate it!
i like especially those slower songs though...not so much of those with electric guitar hahaha
Some people say that pnw makes us emotionally high and we like the feeling.. I think PnW helps us to open up..just listening to the lyrics...it helps us to reflect..it calms me hahaha..helps me not get distracted ..like i always am...
i dunno...when i sing pnw..i feel just so calm...sometimes i just cant express myself..and i can through songs..helps me to open up and surrender myself in this beautiful act of song! ahha i dont care who hears it...cos i know God hears it..and im singing to him! hhaha ..yes i do agree sometimes it gets me emo..haha..emo songs..haha but so what...i emo means i emo lah...not emo oso can wad hahaha
what i cant stand...
ahah! i am actually agaisnt something!
is how some people you know..like the life concert...i could just feel that..the songs..they sung..were not to praise or worship God u know...it was more of a rock concert..a performance..it was good yeah but..thats not the point of the life concert is it..especially when we do pnw..if its just some regualr song then go ahead...and somemore..people clapped for the people singing after each song..er..why are they? wrong person to clap for lah! ai yoh
and i cant stand how somepeople just..er..you know like purposely get all emo...like in Festival of praise...now i think thats what jon chan was talking bout...im against that..u know like the song just start then suddenly...they just raise their hands up in the air...then cry out and stuff like the whole world should know they ..er..i dunno...i know they love God so much..thats so cool..but yeah...ur not the only one..and you dont have to brag about it..like what the gospel said.. i heard this in mass...something bout those who preach in the street and yell bout blah blah...and that just praying in ur hearts is enough..or something like that ..u know what i mean
you dont have to make it a show..ist not about you..its about God...but i dont say that u should like raise ur hands or clap or anything....i feel that..if you want to do something..it must be genuine and from the heart..not because you should be not because of what u want people to think but because you know...you. want to..take this step forward. and open up to him.
Like the last year end of year retreat..b4 that i went to china and shopped so much i was overpowered by my material wants that when i went for camp..i just felt so far from God and so unworthy to like talk to him and praise him...and worship him..that i just refused to sing some songs..u know just sing cos they were singing..i would clap if they clap oso..but it just did not feel right...i know what i was doing wasnt genuinely from my heart..i was just following...i came for the retreat not wanting to acheive anything but because of friends...so i was just really bummed throughout..like what am i doing here.. but the people rock man..they helped me to understand things..and after some..stuff. ahhaha i prayed..for the desire to come back to him..er u know what i mean...it was only then..that i tried to er give it a try ahha to open up myself to him...u know.. then..there came this talk from this external speaker..i slept through 80% of it..that bad..u see! then after wards there came this time of short praying over again..just a mini one if u wanted to go up to the intercessory team to be prayed over..so i prayed to God..about how crappy ive been feeling..and all..just wanted him to listen to me..cos i didnt think he'd understand me..or how i was feeling and stuff...then so i just had this urge to go up..so i did..and terence prayed over me..and he happened to say the stuff...that i just told God a minute ago..exactly how i said it summore ..i was like ...woah sia..power...u really did listen to me and u know me..im so thankful and all..felt so touched ahhaha..could really feel the power of the holy spirit working through him..
wah then i go back sit down i kinda was like crying lah...softly...so nobody see ahahaha so touched...i remeber daniel saw me cry then he ask me if i alrght..i so embarressed that someone saw me i shoo them with my hand haha like a fly hur hur.....then in my mind i sang to God the even though you know song..haha see i love songs so much.. and this song really reflected how i felt at that moment..then after no more pple to pray over..they played song...ALAMAK! ITS THE EVEN THOUGH U KNOW SONG! ahhhh omg...i know he was behind this hahahah..its was a message he wanted to make really clear ahha...3 times in the bible means emphasis yeah ahahah.. then i burst out wailing until people around me got shock...everybody like so calm execpt me..haha people yesterday cry cos got praying over i lagging sia hahahaha.. i still remember..as the song started and i started to sing the song too...my eyes kept swelling and the words became hard to see..my lips kept trembing until i had to purse my lips tight to control myself..the words..ahhhh shit..then suddenly..WAHHHHH! couldnt take it sia... ahhahaha i remember anne hugging me ahhahaha then everybody hug me.. hahah i like hugs.. hug! good! i ivite hugs!
haha just thought of something...we cannot give hugs...we can only borrow..cos when we hug someone..then can only hug back ahhaha
yeah so u see...these songs are special to me...God uses them ahaha as messages! hur hur...and my messages to him..:D
ok this was a long draggy but meaningful post haha
shit..its 4.11 and i supposed to be inchurch by 4.30...ahhhhhh ok buh bye! and i think i blogged my retreat experience bout that in the log blog too ahhaha
yeah and this was the song they played
"Even Though You Know" by ?
You search me, you know me you know my every move theres nothing i can ever do to hide myself from you
you know my thoughts, my fears my hurts my weaknesses and my pride you know what i've been going through and how i feel inside
and even though you know you will always love me even though you know you'll never let me go i dont deserve your love but you give it freely you will always love me even though you know.
hehe so true so true...
And remember.. "Praising God is about self." by Ms Susan Yeow. :D
