I need income.
my money is disappearing.

i need more time.
i dun need studying anymore.
cos i already am doing that all i can!
but i dont feel smarter!

i feel dumb
and brainless.
even though i have 2 brains.

you know what i hope.


that this i will be all over. its made me very unhappy feeling stupid and dumb.
seeing my slack classmates becoming slack no more and hardworking.
it pressurises me
so i study
but i feel its not enough!

so i think of back up plans.
my shoe business.
apparent theres not many pple planning to do what i wanna do. so haha oligopoly! one man show.haha
or even drawing on other stuff like caps of make bookmarks or tshirts.

i think of teaching guitar. and taking lessons at the same time.

i think of parry internation where mum and dad want me to work for them.
i wanna make it on my own man.

i think of doing gigs at night.
i need to find someone to do it with man.

i think of doing my portfolio for lasalle arts.
what if im not good enough?






the worst part.
i feel guilty everytime i sleep.
beacause its time wasted.
i shall resort back to coffee and sacrifice my eyebags.


and i realised i havent been blogging bout church people. at all.
do u see me frowning?


i swear...i dont study enough.
so i study summore.
but then i stop at each question i dont understand and think that im stupid and then i stone cos i emo for abit then i feel sleepy ahha









i hate it when people predict me and think they know me so well and then accuse me of something i'd do. and then i get so angry.
cos i did it in the end.
unknowingly and i couldnt help it.
and then i get angry with myself too.
and hate myself.
because they seem to know me more than i do.
i dont even know me.
and i try to deny and solve it.

but i doesnt work
im like going against myslef.


you know what im talking about.
falling asleep. shit.


i sleep a sufficient 4 hrs a day what! haha








where does all my time go.
or am i just so slow.
im retarded. that must be it.

Hur Hur.
11:19 PM