today i wanted to tell my friend on msn.

I WANT TO BRING HER TO YISS!
then suddenly i thought of how shed whine and cry and groan and complain..that how she didnt want to be there and she that she hate me and stuff..

and then i would not be able to enjoy my time being open and praising and loving God.. cos i would be so angry at her for being so childish and horrible and spoiling my mood.

i just didnt want to bring her.
COS SHED SPOIL EVERYTHING.


and im so sad.







I thought why God made us fated to be like together for so so so long.. was because he wanted me to change her..to bring her to him.

but it seems like shes the devil's puppet controlled by selfishness materialism greed and all other stuff esp money. :(

and the thing is she doesnt care.
and doesnt want to change.

and wants me to not do well in life and grow fat and ugly and all and she tells me this openly.
and i like find it hard to laugh at how she says it there few days...its growing tiresome treating it like a joke.


when she says that.

i feel like asking her..

are you really my best friend?













God help me.

Hur Hur.
1:20 AM