I just don't understand.
what is so hard about that.

maybe im abnormal and its so easy for me.

and i really really really am hoping and praying that we can do may 16 and make it a blast with the full band and not some acoustic set.
so much practice so much hard work.

im popping amoxilins so that my throat's swelling will go down
and now i have plegmn and it makes me worry.

and i don't like to worry.
but I'd like the 1st gig...like a proper one..to be a blast... with a rockin original song to start with.

i hate envisioning something and being so happy bout it and then i can't have it.
sounds so spoilt brat-ish huh. its like sitting down at a restaurant and you've chosen what to eat but then someone decides to change place.

and people have been practising really really hard too. it would be such a waste man.
i wont blame them if they are pissed.


Lets all just pray.


and im wondering...why didnt popo ask his sergeant earlier. =( ok maybe he told me and theres a good reason. but =(



I'm hoping everything will be fine...
theres just too much effort put in to be just thrown all away.
=(


normally i wouldn't care so much.
and anything is fine with me. yes its true. but still.


and why do some people see life as such a drama.
I tell you...mine is so drama that im sick of it so i turn it into a comedy.
but thats for the audience to interpret.


I don't think anything can scare me or make me so sad anymore besides death and murder or physical injuries or rape or a breakup.
I seen and been through so many things.
That everything has just become numb. in nicer words ive become stronger.

and i've stopped crying.
i hope. its a good thing..maybe bad.

the only bad emotion i have left is anger and disappointment and perhaps jealousy.
no pity. no sadness.


But at the end of the day...when you see me... I'll always be smiling.
Theres no point worsening someone else's day.


Thats not what jesus would do. ahah

i just want everyone to be happy. that would make me happy.
and i like to be happy.
don't you. being happy makes me think clearly and not be so pissed bout life at times haah
just be happy at that moment with the people you love. ain't that good enough.

ok i dont know what im talking.


basically im just disappointed.

Hur Hur.
12:46 AM