Fuck lah.
Actually I'm rather pissed and disappointed.

Because I don't know whats going on.
but it affects me.
And im in no position to know.


Is this fair?
I can only guess.
And guessing makes me judge badly and i don't want to do that.


Other than that.
I hope they do not give up.
I'm hurt in a sense that I can't really do much.
Or that I have no power.
Or that my advice was not taken.


That seriously was the main reason why I gave up a good friend.
But these 2 are too precious to let go cos I love them so much.



But I feel that I should take a back seat and chill.
And let all the people who are killing me indirectly just get on with their lives and suffer in their mistakes and their inability to do what is right for whatever reason even tho it may be hard or perhaps in their blindness.

Because.
I am Sick.
And I am Tired.
Selfish aren't I?
Well thats how it started in the 1st place. I might as well learn.


And lets face it.
I am no super girl.
I can't do anything.

Only God can.
Thus I just realised I must pray.




Random:

I am mature.
But I may be blind at times.
I know I behave young.
Thats all.
But I cannot stand the immature and irresponsible.
What is your defence if you are not?
Don't give me a reason to judge badly.
For now you are given the benefit of the doubt.



Whoever still reads this.
Don't think too much.
Don't judge me.
This blog is supposed to be closed.


Remember you were never here.

And for goodness sake...don't ever think its you.
unless you know so. You don't have to think. heh.

Theres a reason why this blog is black and says emoing days ok.



You know what.
I think selfishness is my greatest enemy.
Because I have a big problem.
I just care too much and worry too much.
Just that I don't say it.
When i say it means im pissed lah.
And if im selfish. I guess it means i give up.





But this is a temporary selfishness.
For me. My vacation.
Back to apathy.


OH GOD!
Apathy??? Is back to haunt me again.
Damn.
God I need you.




I don't wanna be a selfish idiot.

Hur Hur.
1:39 AM