Tuesday, November 29, 2011
jajajaaaaded
there is this black hole
it consumes
all energy, all interest in me.
leaves me restless.
leaves me empty.
uncertain.
unhappy.
my nervous system is affected
it drains me of feeling
in every way
my toes turn numb and i feel
soon will my legs
my body
my heart
i feel.
i feel too much i would think.
too much of how i am starting to not feel.
my self is a continuous cycle of disintegration.
I need an anchor.
to help me open my eyes
to unveil me from the blackness i create over my seeing.
i think i might have accidentally shut myself.
in that ditch that was caused by abandonment,
disappointment and fear.
my art saves me.
because i fail to see and only feel.
i have said many times before.
it is like an excess of feeling that is spilled through my arm onto the canvas or paper.
i feel the need for my world
to be a piece of art.
one that is like what i create.
beautiful by chance.
I need that chance to come soon.
Hur Hur.
1:33 AM
